The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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