I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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