We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
