I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
