I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize