normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
