She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
40s are totally the cure
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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