I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
