I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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