There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
3pm strippers are depressing
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
