my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
