in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
