So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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