we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
soo... how was my night?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
