as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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