He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
