i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
