the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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