ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
