She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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