just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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