walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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