my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
