he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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