Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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