Buhtt sex?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
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