So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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