Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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