Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize