He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
