I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize