I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
