Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
