I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
