Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
