So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
