I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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