Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
