Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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