i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My bed smells like the plague
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
