She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
