I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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