when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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