i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
