I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
