Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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