I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
