none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
