I am in a vortex of obligation.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
