Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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