Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
