I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
