Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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