you mean i was at the winter classic?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can feel your judgement through the phone
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
