Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
