just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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