i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
